Dr. Apostle Vonie-Austin James

 I can say, “To God be the glory great things He has done!"  It is because of His grace and mercy that  I am alive today.

 My name is Vonie Austin-James and I was born on the island of Barbados, West Indies, in the parish of St. Peter (known as the country) to a single parent. I am the second of seven children of which three have died. 

Being a minority and single, my mother had to work on a sugarcane plantation to obtain money so she could support herself and her children. My mother would get up every morning at 5:00 a.m.to wash clothes and cook before she went to work for 7:00 a.m. 

She would walk to work without shoes and sometimes when she returned home, her feet would have blisters on them from the kind of work she did that day. Upon reaching home, she would have to cook dinner and get us ready for bed. We were living in a wooden house that had four rooms: two bedrooms, a living room, and a dining room. We had to cook in a room detach from the house on three stones and wood. We had no running water; therefore, we had to carry water from the main pipe, and the bathroom was also detached from the main house. 

Through all of this hardship, I don’t ever remember going to bed hungry because my mother made sure that all of her children had something to eat before bedtime, no matter how small it was. My grandmother was living with us at the time; therefore, at bedtime, four or five persons would fit on a bed and my position was sleeping at the foot of it and getting a lot of kicks.

As finances increased, we were able to purchase a kerosene oil stove and moved it into the dining room, and this help to improve our daily living. 

 When I was about nine years old, I had a dream about Jesus calling me to Him. Although I did not understand it at that time, I dreamt that I was walking down a road by myself when all of a sudden, I saw a bright light coming down out of the sky. I saw Jesus, His appearance was bright and beautiful and He was sitting on a bright, golden throne with several angels around Him. The throne was suspended between heaven and earth and as I stood to observed what was going on, Jesus pointed one of His fingers on His right hand towards me. He then beckoned me to Him three times, after which, He went back up to heaven. 

Three means the number of the Godhead and also the number of invincibility. Biblically, it represents divine wholeness completeness and perfection. It also was used to put a divine stamp of completion or fulfillment on the subject (google.com). This dream made an impact on my life throughout the years and assisted me in being responsive to the gospel.

 As I was growing up, I suffered for a number of years because of circumstances that dictated my life as a young person. First, my father denied and abandoned me. I never knew the love of a father until 1976 after I accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior; then I realized that I have a heavenly father who loves and cares for me. 

On several occasions, I would asked my earthly father for money to purchase school materials and his response to me would be, “Go to your mother because I am not your father.” I asked my mother several times if he was my father and why would he say something like that to me. She responded that she did not know and that he was my father. I was never affirmed by any of my family members and had low self-esteem of myself but I determined in my heart that I would be the one that would be different. I was always looking for affirmation throughout my relationship with others even into my adult life, but I only was affirmed when I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1976. 

Secondly, during my teenage years (about 11 to 12), my mother sent me to live for a number of years with a family member who was in a better financial position. This family member and her husband were living in the town area and own a bakery. While there, I had to walk to the bus stop without shoes, and with the hot bread (that was in a box) on my head. After delivering the bread, I had to collect the monies and returned it to her. I made about three to four deliveries during the course of one day. After the deliveries, I had to cook lunch for them. She would help me with this, however, I had to do most of the work.

 During the course of the week, I had to wash their clothes on my hands (we had no washing machine), and put them out on a platform-like-place to bleach. I had to make sure that I kept the cloths wet before the sun dried them out. About a day or two later, I had to rinse them and hang them on the line to dry. She worked me like a slave from morning until late at night. My daily duties consisted of making breakfast, bread delivery, cooking lunch/dinner, washing clothes, cleaning the yard along with the animal pens (pigeons, chickens, pig, and goat), carrying water on my head for the bakery, and washing bread pans. When it came time for me to attend school, she rarely would let me go. When I first went to live with her, she enrolled me in a middle school but after about a couple of months, she refused to allow me to attend school because of the amount of work she had me doing. 

My peers in the neighborhood would call me derogatory names because of how hard I used to work. I would react angrily to their remarks because I believe I was being stereotyped. This family member had another young girl living at the house and the only thing this girl had to do was to keep the house clean, but she attended school regularly. This family member would always tell me that “I would never amount to anything.”

 After constantly hearing these negative predictions about my future, I purposed in my heart that I would show her and make something good of my life. Because of this stigma, I went through a  great deal of anger and suffering. This created an inner emptiness and huger for love and learning when I saw others progressing academically in school. One time I got so angry that I packed my clothes to go back home to my mother. When she saw that I had packed my clothes, she told me that I would have to walk home because she was not giving me any money for the bus ride. Her husband gave me fifty-cents and I caught the bus home (we did not have telephones at this time). I told my mother what was happening to me and my mother went to this family member. I don’t know what transpired but the following day, my mother sent me back to her. I was devastated and sought ways to make the burden lighter in order for me to finish my chores early so I could attend school, but it never worked out.

 Subsequently, her husband died and she moved to England which caused me to return home to my mother. She never made an impact in my life because from the pattern she portrayed with her husband (they slept in different rooms and she would always curse him). I did not want to live my life or behave like her. The only thing I learn was to work hard in order to be successful and not allow anyone to take advantage of me. While living with my mother, a family member visited our home in Barbados and he sexually molested me. I felt ashamed and thought it was my fault, therefore, I did not tell anyone until a couple years before my mother died. 

When I was in my late teens, I migrated to St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands to live with other family members. Subsequently I got a job at Citibank and was able to get my own apartment. I went to night school and was able to get my GED Certificate. I attended the College of the Virgin Islands at that time to learn short-hand and typing writing. In the meantime, I was sensing a yearning and desire for God, but it was not realized until January 1976 when I met a young man and we became friends. He invited me to a revival service, which was held at a Pilgrim Holiness Church. We reached there after the service  5 had begun and the ushers seated us in different sections of the sanctuary. When the altar call was given, both of us got up at the same time and went forward to accept Jesus into our lives. 

After this, it became clearer that God had his hands upon my life for many years, and all he wanted me to do was to say yes to him. Because of God’s love, mercy, and His called on my life, I am alive today, because Satan tried to kill me many times. 

On February 13, 1976, this young man was invited to a Valentines’ Day party and I wanted to accompany him. I did not know at the time that my mother was with a group of women who were fasting and praying in Barbados that day  My mother told me later that she received a word from the Holy Spirit that said, “Death upon death.” (2 Cor. 2:16). 

She said it did not make sense at the time, however, they prayed for protection and a divine intervention from God for her children. My friend refused to take me with him to the party although I insisted. Shortly after 1:00 a.m. on February 14, 1976, I heard a knocking on my door. When I answered, I was told that the young man was involved in a car accident and was at the hospital. I went to the hospital with his father and met a police officer who escorted us to the morgue. There, we saw him lying on a slab and he was dead. Because of the prayers of my mother and the prayer group, I did not go to the party and my life was spared. We later learned that a vehicle struck him head-on while he was in his lane, and the vehicle left the scene. In addition, the engine for his vehicle was pushed about twelve inches into the passenger seat where I would have been sitting. 

Another challenge in my life was when I got married in 1979 and unfortunately, I suffered for fifteen years at the hands of my ex-husband who abused me emotionally and verbally. We got married on a Saturday, and on the following Monday, he told me that he took a female home to my house and they had sexual intercourse in my bed. This type of behavior progressed for several years escalating each time. He belong to a certain religion and came to the Pentecostal Church I was attending because he was looking for someone who was gullible in order to get a permanent resident card to stay in the United States..

 I felled victim to the whims of him, his family, and friends who were instrumental in our getting married. The only thing I had to get for the wedding was my outfit, everything else was paid for by his family member. 

After the wedding, he told me now that we were married, I had to go with him to his place of worship. My response was that “You came and found me here in this church and this is where I will stay; however, sometimes I will visit your church with you."

From this union came a son who was the joy of my life. On the day of my delivery, my ex-husband dropped me off at the hospital and I did not see him again until a day later. In the latter part of 1991, my ex-husband tried to kill me with my police issued weapon. He was upset because I had made cakes to sell in order to raise money for my church building fund. 

On that Saturday morning, he got dressed to go to his church and before he left, he took my cakes and started to destroy them. I was able to take some away from him and this started an argument. It escalated to the point where we started fighting. He ran and grabbed my hand bag that contained my weapon and attempted to pull the trigger. The Holy Spirit gave me the strength to take the bag and gun away from him. 

Shortly thereafter, we went our separate ways and the marriage ended in a divorce at the beginning of 1992. Because of my ex-husband infidelity, we were separated for four years, and it was during this time that my son was diagnosed with a brain tumor that was inoperable. All that could be done for him was to release the pressure of fluid that was accumulating on his brain. He was operated on and a shunt was placed in his brain that ran to his stomach. He was given radiation to help shrink the tumor but instead, it began to grow downwards, wrapping itself around his spine. This caused him to be paralyzed and subsequently,  he died. People may mistreat us in relationships, and when we are not able to cope with it or express our feelings, we may conclude in our minds that it is how everyone is. We then would set up a wall so that no one would hurt us again.

 I joined the Police Department in 1981, and was involved in a serious automobile accident. I was a passenger in the police vehicle while chasing after another vehicle that had run a red light, another vehicle came from the opposite direction and collided with the passenger’s side of the police vehicle, knocking me unconscious, and totaling the police vehicle. The ambulance transported me to the hospital, and I had to undergo therapy for six months. Lessons I Learned Along the Way My mother was a responsible and she was a hard working woman that took good care of her children. I have come to realize that people do what they know, and my mother did not know how to show love and affection to her children until she accepted Jesus as her Savior. Only then did she speak about loving us. I believe that she thought that providing for us were enough and that was love. I learned moral values and virtues from my mother which I passed on to my son. She made good with what little she had, and I learned to do the same. I have learned how to survive in hard times, and how to stretch a meal in order to make it feed many people. 

After seeing how hard my mother work on a plantation, I decided early in my life that I would never work on a plantation like my mother did. I have learned that you can accomplish anything in life as long as you make up your mind to work hard at it. Throughout my life, I was looking for love and a father figure in the men I dated, and seeking affirmation and validation which I never received. I did not know how to love or what love was because of the rejection I received from my father. 

Therefore, the men I dated never met my expectations for a father figure because the relationship was all about them. Knowing a  father’s love was not realized until I surrendered my life to Jesus in 1976, and He became my Heavenly Father. He showed me what true love is, and as I read His Word, He states “No greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends, you are my friends if you do the things which I command you” (John 15:13-14). Also, that God loved His children that He sent His Son to die for us (John 3:16). When I was told that I would never amount to anything, I was appalled that an adult would say something like that to a child. 

However, I would cancel those negative prophecies over my life, and I did everything in my power, at that time, to advance myself academically. I attended night school to advance myself and took the GED test to receive my certificate.

 After that, I attended the College of the Virgin Islands and majored in Police Science. I also obtained my Associates Degree in that field. Hard work does pay off. I reached for the moon and refused to settle for less. If I had known then what I know now, I would not have married because light and darkness cannot agree, and you cannot marry someone with the expectation of changing them. I’ve learned that a leopard does not change its spot.

 I was told that God hates divorce and I will have to stay in the marriage even though I was being emotionally abuse, and was losing my sanity. It was God’s grace and mercy that kept me because many times I felt like killing him using several different methods, but when I thought about my children and prison, I ‘d rather separate from him for my peace of mind than to spend the rest of my life in prison. When my son got sick, I received a message from a prophet that God was saying to me, He was going to cut all ties. I got my divorce and my son died that same year. My family did not influence me and with all of these experiences,

 I have overcome because I always had the sense of doing something different from my family members. I am the first one in family that graduated from college and advanced myself academically. In reflecting on the dream, I had when I was nine years old, I know that God had his hands on my life and has called me personally. He has protected me from death and the entrapment of Satan throughout the years. He said that He knows the thoughts He thinks towards me, they are thoughts of peace and not of evil to give me a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11). 

Because of my past experiences, I am able to empathize with others that are going through similar situations. I was able to get support from a professional counselor and realized that some of the mistakes I made, I would now have handled the situations differently. Do not allow your past to dictate your future or determine what you want to become in life. Joseph was thrown in the pit by his brothers and was sold to the Ishmaelite’s for twenty shekels of silver. He was taken to Egypt and sold as a slave to Potiphar. Because he stood up for righteousness, he was thrown in prison for a period of time. 

However, God brought him out and he became the Prime Minister of Egypt. There is a process that God allows us to go through in order to bring us to our destiny. Allow God to fashion you in the fires of affliction in order to bring you out as pure gold that is tried in the fire. 

Isaiah 42:2 says, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you." Before getting married, it would be wise to get marital counseling before and after you get marry and also, get marry for the right reason.

 I thought that my ex-husband loved me but I realized that was not true, he only wanted a U.S. Visa. Relationships must be built on trust, good communication and spending time together. In addition, it is very important to forgive those people that hurt you. When we forgive others, we become free from the load of guilt and wantonness.

 Forgiveness is a choice that we have to make, and it empowers us to feel good about  10 ourselves, and to be motivated to reach our destinies. Also, we must put our faith and trust in Almighty God in spite of circumstances that may come ferociously to threaten our lives. 

Choose to decree and declare God’s promises over our lives, and serve Him passionately. Know that when you are called for greatness, there is a process that you must go through in order to come out better than when you went in; but it is all in God’s plan for your life. He still perform miracles today.